Forget the fake MLK quotes or the stories about Osama being armed or using human shields; Rumsfeld saying the Osama intel was acquired without waterboarding or “harsh treatment” was the item that really should’ve stuck out as too good to be true:
Donald Rumsfeld has flip-flopped on torture! Monday he told Newsmax (a site of no credibility, but Rumsfeld didn’t deny giving the interview):
First of all, no one was waterboarded at Guantanamo Bay. That’s a myth that’s been perpetrated around the country by critics. The United States Department of Defense did not do waterboarding for interrogation purposes to anyone. It is true that some information that came from normal interrogation approaches at Guantanamo did lead to information that was beneficial in this instance. But it was not harsh treatment and it was not waterboarding.
But Monday night he told buddy Sean Hannity:
I’m told there was some confusion today on some programs…suggesting that I indicated that no one who was waterboarded at Guantanamo provided any information on this. That’s just not true. What I said was no one was waterboarded at Guantanamo by the U.S. military…Three people were waterboarded by the CIA…and then later brought to Guantanamo. In fact, as you point out, the information that came from those individuals was critically important.
Now that’s more like it! I wasn’t coping well with this strange new world in which Donald Rumsfeld was not blatantly full of shit. And while we’re on the subject, Rumsfeld’s technique appears to be slipping–for comparison, refer to this classic depiction of Rumsfeld transcending the boundaries of objective reality to a degree that he is able to cast mere rhetoric aside. He is, as you can clearly see, assaulting the truth head on — directly and physically.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss him just a little.
* You knew it was coming. Like I could come up with that title myself?