“I swear I did my best to ensure that his final moments were swift and free from fear. But consideration should be made for the fact that Sandor Katz was my first kill, so I trust the reader will understand that while his screams may well have seemed like conscious objections they were in reality simply a request to honour his strength and speed! With gratitude and tenderness I singed every single hair from his body, gently placed his decapitated head in a stock pot, boiled off his flesh and made a spread-able head cheese! Because I believe that one can only relate with another living creature by completely destroying it! I’m sure Sandor’s friends and family will appreciate this!”
(ahem) A rationale so moronic it defies belief. Post-vegetarian I must submit to you-respectfully-be careful what kind of world you wish for. Someday it may come knocking on your door.
“Lemme in! LEMME THE FUCK IN! I just wanna ‘fully relate.’ I swear I’ll do my best to ensure that your final moments are swift and free from fear!”
As a failed veg(an)tarian this song is particularly hard-hitting to me. This is their response to the burgeoning movement around “artisan meat” and whatnot. (I tried but failed to find the link to an article I read awhile back about young artisan butchers in SF and NY and whatnot and how the whole thing was based on respect for the animal, because apparently the facts that artisan butchers make ridiculous salaries, run in fancy circles in big fancy cities and get their balls jiggled in fawning profiles in the New York Times, etc. are coincidental side-effects that none of them considered going in.) It’s all just another fancified cop-out and frankly I wish people would quit lying to themselves.
If you eat another human you’re a “cannibal,” an entirely different and more brutally sadistic class of human being; but if you flay, scorch and consume any other class of animal you’re a… “person.” Give me a break; yeah, (some) animals eat each other in nature. Animals haven’t invented agriculture, refrigeration, the supermarket, etc. I eat meat in small part because I’m broke, but mostly because I’m fucking lazy and I make no excuses for that. You want/need to eat meat too? Then admit you’re a savage fucking brute and be done with it. You can do shit that’s necessary for your survival (perhaps based on your own laziness; perhaps not) without building up some grand mythology to excuse it all. I have so much more respect for the unapologetic guy from the South who “eats critters cuz they’re damn tasty” than this whole bullshit movement to fawn over people who “respect the animal” that I can’t accurately describe it without resorting to the word “cunts,” particularly as in the phrase “gaggle of self-deceiving trendy ass-sucking hypocritical cunts.” It’s a living being, you assholes, not a piece of art. Rip it apart and feed on it if you’re going to, but for fuck’s sake stop acting like you deserve praise for doing so.
I don’t mean to minimize the brutality of rape, torture or etc. but from where I stand disassembling something, cooking it, eating it and shitting it out out is pretty much the worst thing you could do to that entity. I mean you aren’t just breaking that being’s spirit or even their body itself; you are quite literally converting them to feces, and shortly thereafter they will cease to exist entirely without so much as a body to mourn. (And while we’re at it, notice how many of the things that’re commonplace in breaking animals down to their component parts and cooking them are considered “torture” if done to humans. It’s ok though, because bolt pistols have a zero percent failure rate and none of them suffered.) You aren’t Native Americans and this is not part of your spirituality so fucking spare me.
On a somewhat-related note: the fat acceptance movement? No. Stop. Being societally trained to find a particular phenotype attractive is one thing, and if someone is making an honest effort to keep themselves in shape and they still don’t look the way they “should” that’s different too. There are certainly problems with ie. the BMI and other “one size fits all” measurements of weight. If you go by standardized shit I — at 6’1 270 — should be either be a linebacker or a complete fatass. In reality I’m a little more overweight than average. But these ideas that people are obligated to be equally attracted to a big belly as they are a six pack and are being unfair or bigoted if they aren’t, or that being significantly overweight is perfectly acceptable and not actually bad for someone’s health or quality of life (absent death by cholesterol you can still have a lifetime of back pain) are just ludicrous. Do you actually have a gland problem? If so, fair enough. Not your fault. If not then what the fuck? I’m not out of shape because I’m a victim. If I didn’t know better that’d be one thing, but I have a pretty good idea about proper diet, exercise, etc. I’m out of shape because I sit on my lazy fucking fat ass all day. Saying that isn’t pleasant but it’s less scary than the kind of denialist mentality that leads people to grab a picket sign and a chocolate fucking cake and tell the world how they’re just victims of circumstance by a long shot. (I will say however that in comparing the two cases, at least in the latter we’re only preying upon ourselves.)
I guess these are a couple issues on which I could be considered “conservative,” at least if we buy the typical formulation that conservatives tell it like it is while liberals make excuses and beat around the bush.
(edited a few times for typography and clarity)