It’s impossible to even pick a bit to excerpt this this is so good. And no this isn’t performance art–this is purely unintentional hilarity.
-Networks pushing soccer is about a liberal plot rather than an attempt to popularize an additional sport that they can cash in on (ie. capitalism)
-Former Republican Congressman Scarborough = liberal soccer stooge.
-All liberals love soccer; all conservatives hate soccer.
-Soccer is bad because it contains flopping, unlike all-American sports ie. NBA Basketball.
-Soccer is bad because when played well it leads to low scoring games, unlike all-American sports ie. Major League Baseball.