Why Won’t You Just Fucking Die?

(Lungs of Hell fly open)

CHENEY: If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.1

I’m not usually up for this level of hatred and I thought it would’ve been excessively ghoulish to actually say so while he was in the hospital, but nonetheless I just cannot work up the energy to be charitable about the prospects for the future health of Satan Himself. I still don’t see myself feeling comfortable celebrating his death when it happens, so if we don’t get around to declaring it a national holiday then just remember this post and picture me cheering a little on the inside.

WASHINGTON — Former Vice President Dick Cheney left a Washington hospital on Wednesday following a heart attack he suffered earlier in the week.

Spokesman Peter Long said Cheney was discharged from George Washington University Hospital and feeling good. “He will resume his normal schedule shortly,” Long said of Cheney, who has remained an active player in Republican politics.

The 69-year-old Cheney was hospitalized Monday after experiencing chest pains.

Aides say the heart attack was mild. It was his fifth since age 37, and he has undergone several heart procedures since.
via Former VP Cheney released from hospital – washingtonpost.com.

1and yes, for those of you keeping score at home that’s a quadfecta: The rare combination bankshot Megadeth+Kissing Suzy Kolber+Cheney-As-Satan+Star Wars reference that still makes sense in context. The degree of difficulty here is extreme. I win two complete copies of the entire internet.2

2and since we’re doing the footnote bit again this is also by default a Sadly, No! reference. What is that now, the quintecta? Fuck it, we’ll just call it the Hiroshima of all references.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s