How To Blow Your Own

mind. (What?)

So I was thinking: death and taxes are the only certain things right? Except that really doesn’t seem to be true. I can be a tax dodger or move to a country with no taxes or maybe I could be, I dunno, let’s say a social security recipient. And as far as death? Not even close — could you please describe the death experience to me…? At what point in your passing did you know you were truly dead? Right. So it seems to me that all we really have is time. Fuck death and taxes (which should probably be the name of a mixed drink btw, or at the very least a tag-team champion pair of pro wrestlers) … I can tell time is real because I only have 15 more of it before I gotta go get my back cracked. I only have so many times left before I gotta pay rent, and I’m looking at my jar-o-weed and hoping it lasts enough time for me to acquire sufficient Ducketts to replace it. Stick a dick in your ear and fuck what ya heard: Time is the only certainty and you gotta figure out a way to evade that whole death thing before you run out. That’s how you really win life.

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