‘Annals of Political Hypocrisy’ Section MMXLI Subsection My God Fuck It

I’m getting tired of this book already and I only just made it up yesterday. Here we have an article written by a sinister robot that has been programmed to file hypocritical political articles under the pseudonym “Bonnie Erbe.” Its contention? That the only difference between Obama and Jessie Helms is that one was more open and out front about the fact that he would never abandon his close-minded misogynist views. It continues on to assert that the evidence for this is found in Obama taking an insufficient number of female staffers on sporting events with him, further stating that it doesn’t care how many he takes from here on out or what he does on other issues because its programming indicates that it should behave like a human being whose mind is made up and will not change.

So in other words? You got it: “Bonnie” is the latest in an apparently limitless supply of robotic clones who have been sent here to express dissatisfaction with self-observed characteristics projected onto others. You sort’ve wonder if a fractured personality is a carved-in-stone requirement for being a pundit of any sort. (If so where do I sign up?)

And here I am thinking crazy shit like, “I could’ve swore Obama signed something called the Lily Ledbetter Fair Pay Act shortly after taking office.” Clearly his golfing partners are a better indication of his record on womens’ issues then his um, y’know, record on womens’ issues. Now that we’ve sorted that out I’m only left to question whether or not I’m supposed to be pretending the Bonnie-bot wouldn’t have cranked out an article about Obama playing sports against females ‘cuz he’s a big mean bully who likes to intimidate women had the situation been inverted.

By the by, while we’re on the subject of this piece of shit article take a look at the comments. The vast majority of them are just generic bromides about Obama being gay, muslim, “Dear Leader,” “The One,” etc with most showing no attempt to put them into the context of the Obama-as-alleged-secret-misogynist* frame whatsoever. I thought they were just really dumb people, or possibly even paid RNC/lobbyist/whatever employees. But lately I’m starting to think: you don’t suppose they’re actually just spambots do you? I mean literally a computer program browsing the web and posting negative shit about Obama, not in the sense that I’m jokingly accusing Erbe of being an android. What do you think?

*apparently not a secret enough misogynist that he would’ve thought to take some female staffers golfing to cushion against this possibility. He’s capable of covering up the fact that he’s a muslim jihadi extremist “kenyan candidate” sent here to await activation and further instruction but not, yknow, minor day to day details about his workout routine. Because that story doesn’t leave any sort of credibility gap whatsoever.

ps. In case you’re wondering – and I was after using both phrases so I looked them up – a robot is a robot and an android is a robot designed to look like a human.

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3 comments
  1. >>But lately I’m starting to think: you don’t suppose they’re actually just spambots do you?<<

    i think that's an interesting idea. any way to figure out whether it's true?

  2. fauxpopuli said:

    Best thing I can think of would be to take individual comments and google them. That could show that they’re being spammed, though not by whom.

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